Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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