Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize