then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize