Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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