i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize