I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize