I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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