Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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