I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You took a bar mat shot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize