I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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