im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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