then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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