I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize