I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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