party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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