i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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