I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize