R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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