Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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