i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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