Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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