What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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