508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize