I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize