I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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