we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize