Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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