my sisters under your porch take her home
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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