my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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