If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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