I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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