So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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