Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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