just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize