i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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