you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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