no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize