My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize