margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
there's paper in my vomit.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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