She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize