i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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