ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
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And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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