I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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