marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize