Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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