Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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