Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize