she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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