Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My feet surprised me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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