stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need a beard to bite.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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