Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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